The Rawpinions Weblog

I’m getting sick and tired of using the words “I’ve been busy lately” but what can I say? I have been busy lately.  Apart from stuff that I don’t really want to share details of, I’ve been renewing my domains…and I have about 50!  When I started ‘collecting’ domains, I registered them from different registrars and it’s all getting too confusing so I want to transfer everything to my 3 favourite registrars.  I need to keep track of them so I don’t lose any by missing their expiry date.

Apart from that I’ve been doing a bit of scripting here and there, as well as getting stuff to fuction properly.  I have this bad habit of not resting until something important to me that needs to be done gets done.  For that reason, it’s almost 10am in the morning and I haven’t slept yet.  Good thing though, the one issue that kept me awake has been resolved and I’m glad!

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My mum’s deep into red wine…and I honestly don’t know why, because I can’t stand it any more.  Yesterday afternoon, I had a phone call from a friend saying “well??? what time are you going to be here?” I then remembered I was supposed to be attending yet another birthday gathering…

I didn’t have much time to get there, so I did what I could with what time I had left.  I somehow knew that they were’nt going to have cake because it was a “small gathering” so I bought a huge cake and here’s the worst part: I didn’t have time to go to the bigger stores so I decided to buy wine at Kedi.  The cheap wine I bought, was actually the most expensive bottle they had in the store.

At the gathering, they shared the wine and it tasted like Chinese medicine (i.e. pungent, sweet, salty, sour, astringent and bitter).  I hated it.  I don’t anything that tastes like Chinese medicine, including Chinese medicine.

A guy at the gathering turned to me and said, “this wine tastes like the wine I bought the other day…how much did you buy it for?”

At that point, I was thinking “great…just great.  Are you kidding me, do you really want me to answer that?” but I ended up saying, “cheap.  What can I say, I didn’t have time to go further into the city and buy something more extravagant…sorry about that.” I was elbowed by the person next to me, who said “you didn’t have to bring anything!”

Sometimes I wonder…how would they REALLY feel if I never brought anything?

If I held a small birthday gathering, I would be offended if everyone I invited didn’t bring a bottle of anything…even if it was a bottle of the cheapest Chinese medicine.  It’s just one of those gestures worth a thousand words.  So noboody should expect me to be that ill-mannered.  Now that I think about it, the person probably just said it to be polite…the “aww you shouldn’t have” which actually means “gee thanks”.  Yeah, that must be it.

So yeah, the bottle of red wine in my fridge actually tastes a whole lot better than the one I bought yesterday.  The guy made me taste the red wine he bought (costed almost as much as the red wine in my fridge, which was about twice the cost of the wine I bought for the gathering).  The wine he bought (imported) tasted a bit like Chinese medicine too.

Lesson: never buy cheap wine, especially if you’re not buying it for yourself.

Then again, I suppose there’s a difference in reason, between most Asians and most non-Asians (or the ones without the culture) when it comes to drinking wine.  When I think of wine, I think of lite booze appropriate for sophisticated women in their 30s and beyond.  Red wine to others however, is a healthy drink (in moderate consumption).

Anyways, from now on I’ll stick to booze appropriate for interesting women in their (our) mid 20s: cocktails!

I’m mentally frustrated.  It only takes a second for one of my friends  here to do something that’s enough to piss me off.  There’s a possibility that a short holiday away from Shanghai will do me some good.

I’m considering Beijing…but I can only decide after I know when my mum will be here in Shanghai.  Why Beijing? First, I really want to place my invisible “flag” on the Beijing wall.  Everyone who visits China should be able to say “yup, I’ve been there”.  One of my buddies (from back home) is currently in Beijing, and it would really be cool to hangout with one of my hangout buddies from back home!

I suppose I could also meet up with an ex-friend who I met on my first day in China and have never seen him again since then.  He’s what I call an ex-friend because his allowed his childishness to come in the way of our friendship.  We used to talk a lot before I went back to Seychelles in 2005 for the summer holidays.  He said “call me before you leave…if you don’t call me I wish the plane crashes”.  I can’t believe anyone would wish such harm on anyone else…to think, people actually think I am the crazy one.  I didn’t call him, but only because it slipped my mind.  Those words also freaked me out, esp. after having to deal with an obsessive compulsive ex…

But the dude was man enough to pick my sister up at the airport incl. the other 2 Seychellois when they arrived, he did all that without even telling me he did (and without my telling him to).  Because of that, I’m sort of indebted to him.

Off to watch SYTYCD (eliminations).  Thayne is AWESOME, I’m pretty sure he and Comfort will be a bottom couple this week but I really don’t want Thayne to leave. It just wouldn’t be fair.  I feel the choreographers SUCKED everytime they were giving both Comfort and Thayne their routines.  They will be a bottom couple this week (I’ve yet to find out) but they can’t be blamed entirely.

I didn’t enjoy Twitch and Kerington’s crump routine, it was just all over a place.

My fave routine of the night was the Bollywood routine, I was smiling from ear to ear throughout.  WOW! But see what I mean? The interesting choreography is always given to the more popular couples so of course my cynicism has been stimulated.

Will didn’t have an effect on me on the show I watched last night (or this morning rather)…their routine was a little bit too perverse for me.  The judges said something about it being like a classical painting…but there’s a line between “passionate romance (Romeo and Juliet)” and “Rated-R (Lady Chatterley’s Lover)”.  I feel Tyce DiOrio definitely crossed that line (i.e. I don’t really know if it would be suitable for minors)…

I like Gev and Courtney, but their partnership is starting to bore me a bit so I’m really looking forward to when they start dancing with other people.

I can’t wait for the solos, it was during the solos last year when Sabra became my favourite (despite Danny Tidwell’s skillz).

One of my friends just pissed me off.  I’ve always been very respectful when it comes to my female friends, there’s a huge difference between the way I treat the guys in my life, and the way I treat the gals.  But anger is anger; when a guy friend pisses me off he’s just being a jerk.  When a gal pal pisses me off, she’s being a b*tch…and that’s worse, esp. because I don’t deserve such treatment from the girls.

So yeah, the other day the birthday girl tells us that the bday party will continue on the beach this Sunday (tomorrow).  She joked that we’re only allowed to enter the beach with our swimsuits, so we’ll have to strip at the entrance.  It was already a “planned and confirmed” thing, everyone already agreed to go.

This one friend of mine then tells me she’s got the ‘hots’ for one of my male friends, so she forced me to invite him.  So I invited him the other day, telling him “my friend really wants you to be there…”.

This morning, I checked my emails and this woman had the audacity to send me a “wow, I’m so tired…I won’t make it to the beach this Sunday…”! We all know her real reason: she thinks she’s gained weight and is too ashamed of her body to show it off.

So what exactly am I supposed to do now? She just made me invite a guy, and I haven’t a clue on how to disinvite people.  The reason I’m so pissed off, is because I’m going to be stuck entertaining him the whole day.

See now normally, if it was a girl with a heart I’d make out with the guy she’s into so 10 years into their marriage she’d find out and hate me for it.  But this so-called friend of mine is not only a playgirl but a big time playa…and we all know women playa are screwed up in the head.  It’s like her heart went off to Barbados 10 years ago for a much needed vacation and hasn’t returned.

So the only way I can pay her back is to have fun and send her the pics, to show her what she’s missed out on.

Ok, here I am drinking a “glass” of red wine from the first bottle I ever bought for myself…LOL.  Red wine and…crackers (I’m hungry, what can I say?).  I’m also listening to Red, Red Wine (1983), UB40’s version…don’t you just lurve that song? It’s just a matter of hours for someone else to start playing that song in this dorm…somehow, there’s always someone copying my music:

2 weeks ago I was taking a shower and thought about high school back home which reminded me of the last day of S2, which reminded me of Lauryn Hill’s version of Killing Me Softly (1996) so when I got out of the bathroom I played “Killing Me Softly”, almost blasting it (it was a weekend).  2 days later, someone passed by my room and I heard “Killing Me Softly” blasting on their phone.  Too much of a coincidence if you ask me!

There was also this one time when I was chilling with Lutricia McNeal’s “Ain’t That Just The Way”, which was on my playlist (i.e. it would keep repeating).  A week later, my next door neighbour kept playing it over and over again.  I mean seriously…I should be a “back-in-the-days” DJ or something.

So anyways, I was just watching Kung Fu Panda.  Not bad at all! It’s got this really Chinese “feel” to it.  I actually think “Tai Lung” is a funny name, it sounds like “tai leng” which means “too cold”.  Most memorable quote in my opinion:

Po to Shifu: “I stayed…I stayed because every time you threw a brick at my head or said I smelled, it hurts but it could never hurt more then it did every day of my life just being me.  I stayed, because I thought if anyone could change me, could make me not me, it was YOU…”

Most funniest scene in my opinion:

Shifu: “You are free to eat…enjoy”
Po: About to stuff a dumpling in his mouth.
Shifu: Snaches dumpling away.
Po: “Hey!”
Shifu: Eats the dumpling.  “I said, you are free to eat.  Have a dumpling.”
Po: Attempts to pick up a dumpling.
Shifu: Skillfully kicks the dumpling in the air, eats it.
Po: Stares at Shifu, pissed off.
Shifu: “You are free to eat!”
Po: Am I?!
Shifu: Are you?!

Arrgghh this freakn headache…

Lemme go pour myself another glass…

Don’t ask me how, but somehow, my friends and I ended up at a pub in the wee hours of this morning.  I’m dehydrated so I have a freakn headache, and it’s a combination of that booze together with all the walking we did.  A few weird things happened last night:

- When we went to order our drinks, I ordered a s*x on the beach (why the heck not) and the friend I ordered with ordered a Margarita - the friend who claims to be a pro at drinking because she “drinks booze everyday”.  When the bartender brought the drinks over, I reached for my sizzling pinkish drink and she said “no, no, no, that’s mine!” I turned to her and asked her what she ordered, she said “a Margarita”.  So I pointed to the Margarita and said “that” is a Margarita and she didn’t believe me so I gave in ‘coz I didn’t want to make a fuss and gave her the s*x on the beach.  Darnit!

FOR ANYONE WHO DOESN’T KNOW WHAT A MARGARITA IS LIKE, IT’S THE LIME/LEMON DRINK WITH THE SALT SPRINKLED ALL AROUND THE RIM OF THE GLASS.  Better yet, just don’t order one.  Thanks to my “put-your-friends-before-yourself” attitude, I did not have s*x on the beach (maybe that’s why I’m a little cranky).

So I spent the “night” with one single glass of Margarita and that b*tch got me tipsy! OMG my tolerance to alcohol is gone! It’s been a century since the last time I drank anything.

Last night, before the party I bought two bottles of booze: a Malibu and a bottle of red wine.  I was going to bring the red wine to the party but I switched the bottle at the last minute.  To my surprise, it was not a bottle party (wo0t?!) so one of my friends and I were the only one who brought the booze (it’s also probably why we’re always invited to the cool parties).

Which means I deliberately left the red wine in my fridge for me to drink.  I’ve never had a bottle of wine to myself, and everyone keeps talking about it so I might as well try it.  Now to find that bottle opener…

I’m so bummed about my lack of tolerance to alcohol.  I used to be able to drink 4-5 glasses of Vodka on the rocks before getting affected.  I’m a small person so that’s not bad at all.  That one glass of Margarita was enough for me last night, and worst - I was actually just hanging out with the ones that were relaxing on the sofas…but ooh I got cheered up soon enough!

For the first time ever, I saw two white guys making out. The most interesting about white guys “rolling the other way” is that they’re so “pretty”.  Most of the time, they’re ‘prettier’ than the straight boys.  One of the girls (the one who recommended the place to us) then turned to me and said “someone just told me that we’re at a gay bar”, so I turned to my other friend (the one who had my s*x on the beach and said “she said she thinks we’re in a gay bar” and she said “I know! That’s totally what I was thinking!” So I guess they indirectly listened to me before we actually left the party, when I said “hey I have an idea, let’s go to a gay bar!” The brit dude who was hanging out with us seemed up for it.

I’m drinking a cup of warm tea.

Yum…

Woohoo…

Yeehaw…

*Sigh*

An old friend of mine just called to invite me to her birthday party tomorrow.  Of course I didn’t forget her birthday…I just didn’t know that she was having a party esp. because she hadn’t spoken to me for almost 5-7 months (can’t remember) so I haven’t gotten her anything yet.

This made me realize that this is going to be the fourth time I attend her birthday gathering.  Which means I’ve been here in China for four whole years already.  Lots have changed.

4 years ago she had a gethering at her “elder sister’s” place.  Her “elder sister” being a family friend.  4 years ago she told me that she loved school (true, because she was always in time and never skipped a single class), she was a “very happy” person and that she had her whole life planned out.  She plaanned to graduate, get married and then have kids.  At that time, I was like “wow…so you can actually say you’re ‘happy’…wow”.

3 years ago, I don’t think we did anything that special.  LOL.  We hung out, I remember the deal was that she had to choose her own present (I know, I really do suck at buying presents) and she didn’t so I bought dinner.  Awkward.

2 years ago she had her party here at school.  I even did a little Windows Movie Maker clip (my first clip ever).  LOL.  She started partying a lot (uh oh?), and went out a whole lot more than I did.  But she had a “curfew” so she was still alright.

Last year she had her party here at school again.  Unfortunately, most of the people who ended up showing were my friends (50%), another 25% who showed up were our common friends.  That was weird.  But she’s the one who told me to invite as many people as I could so that’s sort of what I did.  I bought most of the food/booze so she had no reason to complain.

Last year was sort of a bad year for her…basically she had no choice but to drop out of uni (but it was a life she chose).  So now she’s working.  Plans do change, we just have to roll with the punches.

So this evening I’ll have to go shopping for a present and some booze.  Don’t be surprised if I end up with the bottle and no present.  Like I said, I suck at buying presents.  The last bday party I attended, I only brought a bottle.  Awkward.

My inability to buy presents is due to the fact that I don’t care much for presents myself.  The best presents are the ones you can gobble up and not worry about where to keep them for the next century.  The last present I received was at a random day.  It was a “thank you for being so wonderful” present: a box of chocolates.  Yes, believe it or not, some people do think I’m wonderful…maybe it’s because they don’t take the time to read my blog, LOL but yeah.

But buying someone chocolates for their birthday - esp. handing it to them during a party is the most inconsiderate thing ever (esp. because they don’t have much choice but to share it) so a box of chocolates is definitely out. *sigh*

Most people here in China like to give stuffed toys as gifts.  If you don’t know what to give your friend; you give them a stuffed toy/animal…no matter how old they are.  These things are not necessarily cheap though…but I don’t like buying my friends that.  Hello? We’re adults.  If you want a cat that looks like Garfield, tell me and I’ll go buy you a real ginger marmalade cat.  Please don’t make me buy you something that should be bought for your child…even if you don’t have one yet.

Ok whatever.  I’ll figure it out later.

It’s the 1st of July and CSC has decided to be even nicer to us…they’ve increased our monthly allowance by 75% (I think)…and decided to give us a 6-month backpay! I’m so tempted to go shopping (I’m in need of a new gadget in my life).  But then again, I really shouldn’t.

So because we got back paid, most of the Seychellois here in China will be heading home (with big fat suitcases for their very lucky family members).

I will not be going back home for the summer holidays…instead, I’ve decided to have my mum come visit again.  It was my sister who called her up yesterday to tell her about coming over.  She then sent me an MSN messenger asking me if it’s true.  She’s already so excited about her visit, esp. because this time we’re going down to Yiwu (a manufacturing city) to shop! Watching my mum shop for stuff at wholesale prices is like watching a kid shop at a toy store.  I’ve yet to find something that makes me equally psyched.

My little brother will be coming over too, I’m so glad.  Coincidentally, some football matches for the Olympics will be held here in Shanghai and I wish I could get him a ticket to watch just one match at least.  Except these tickets are so freakn costly…

I received an e-mail from a teacher yesterday, and he told me that he might have found something for that internship I have to do.  So he forwarded the email from the company (they’re looking for a summer intern) and you won’t believe what it is.  Let’s just say it’s a “fortune 1000″ company (nope, not 500 LOL)…everyone’s heard of it.  The teacher forwarded it to me because English is a requirement and because he thinks it falls under my major.

This is where my arrogance level drops to below average: I don’t think I should go for it because I don’t think I’m good enough…not yet at least (ok, I’m not talking about my language skills, I’m talking about my major).  Come to think of it, that thing doesn’t really fall into what I’m doing.

But it would look good on my CV…

So I’m in some sort of dilemma really.  If I go for it, I literally would have to train myself for that training. LOL.  Anyway…whatever happens, happens…”que sera, sera”.

Speaking of internship though, a friend of mine told me that another friend of mine (yes, women gossip ), just got offered a permanent position in the place she used to work at as an intern.  She’s supposed to be leaving this year because her studies are done (masters) and she’s decided to stay on…except that the pay sucks (let’s just say it’s about half of what a White English teacher gets).

I want to start my own company.

It is bound to happen.

I can’t live my life admiring entrepreneurs (no matter how successful or unsuccessful).

I have an independent mind, I never really listen to anyone, I don’t do well walking the path that was built by someone else’s dreams.  I need to step onto my own path, so any of the consequences I could potentially be dealing with are consequences I’ve practically asked for.

How am I going to do this?

Well, I have what it takes and to minimize start up capital I will have to learn how to be a one-man band.  In fact, I’ve spent the past year practising & researching.  I’ve met a few people who started learning all this at the same time I did or a little after me and they have already thrown in the towel.  And only after they left did I meet a few people who have succeeded and guess what they said: they’re the ones who never gave up on their dreams.

My Fear of Graduating

Many of my schoolmates think I’ve lost my determination in life and I am no longer interested in my schoolwork.  This is not true.  I have a fear of graduating: because I am on contract.

My contract states that I have to be a teacher for 5 years when I go back home, and more than a year ago I realized I am not fit enough in every aspect to teach.  I don’t want the responsibility.  I don’t even believe in being paid to teach.  Many teachers in Seychelles are forced into a job they don’t even enjoy…and this is sad because our kids are being taught by teachers who don’t even care about them.  I don’t want to be one of those teachers.

According to the contract, if I don’t graduate I will have to pay $25′000 period.  If I do graduate, I will have to teach…and if I were forced to do something I didn’t want, I’d consider that as failure.

So where graduating or not graduating is concerned, I would rather fail through the eyes of everyone else than to fail through my eyes.

The Need for Flexibility is Not Driven By Laziness

Most of my I-love-school friends look at me like I am just one of those students who spend time chatting on the internet.  They think I’m lazy and just like to chill.  They think I spend Saturday nights clubbing with my “other lazy friends”.

Most of my other friends, are clubbing at this hour (30 minutes after midnight aka “Saturday night”) or having s*x with someone they just met at the club.  They think I’m just being a freakn geek.

What am I doing on a Saturday night? I just woke up hours ago…because I hadn’t slept for 24+ hours before that…because I was self-learning PHP.  So my clubbing friends are right, I am a geek (and proud of it).

My point is this, lazy people do exist.  But I’m not lazy when it comes to a whole lot of things.  E.g., I am punctually challenged - I can never get somewhere on time.  But that happens even if I were to get up 4-6 hours before the scheduled appointment.  Subconsciously, it’s probably because I don’t like to wait for people so I prefer them to wait for me (another reason why I should be doing my own thing).  Notice that I’ll never be late for an exam though? Notice that I never miss the train or the plane?

The biggest reason why I should be doing my own thing: I only work well when I’m doing something for someone else.  I’m personally very satisfied with myself, I don’t have this need to constantly prove to myself and to others that I’m awesome (I firmly believe that humans are generally very capable at anything they set their minds to).  So if I’m going to paint my bedroom wall, I’d probably choose plain white paint to colour it with: because I’m satisfied with white and it’s a colour that works for walls, period.  But if I had to paint someone else’s wall, I’d probably go as far as researching about the different colours, types, brush stroke effects and I’ll even learn a bit about colour psychology.

But Do I Interact Well With Potential Customers/Clients?

Absolutely.  I had a call-back from my boss at the first and only job I had, and it was only because he wanted to compliment my phone skills.  I didn’t even know it was him calling, I thought it was one of our suppliers! I have also dealt with a lot of people online, all from different countries.

Customers are always right: If a customer wants to use your body as a bridge or a door mat, you have to be willing to stoop to their way of thinking and convince one of your workers to take one for the team.