The Rawpinions Weblog

This post is dedicated to yet another one of my gal-pals, who has fallen in love…yet again. I haven’t given up on you, the way you haven’t given up on love.  So I hope this time next year, I’ll be wearing the bridesmaid’s dress you told me to get a decade ago.

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I listened to this song and it’s supposedly a love story about a woman who falls in love with 2 guys.  So the song is sort of what she’s saying to her guy, telling him that she’s also in love with someone else.

Here are the lyrics to an edited version of the song, if a man were to sing it to a woman.  Green is what a woman would hear/listen to, and red is what she wouldn’t.  Block letters is for the words that sort of “stick” as a factor that determines the verdict.

There are times when a man has to say what’s on his mind
Even though he knows how much it’s gonna hurt
Before I say another word let me tell you, I love you
Let me hold you close and say these words as gently as I can

There’s been another woman that I’ve needed and I’ve loved
But that doesn’t mean I love you less
And she knows she can’t possess me and she knows she never will
There’s just this empty place inside of me that only she can fill

Torn between two lovers, feelin’ like a fool
Lovin’ both of you is breakin’ all the rules
Torn between two lovers, feelin’ like a fool
Lovin’ you both is breakin’ all the rules

You mustn’t think you’ve failed me
Just because there’s someone else
You were the first real love I ever had
And all the things I ever said
I swear they still are true
For no one else can have the part of me I gave to you

I couldn’t really blame you if you turned and walked away
But with everything I feel inside, I’m asking you to stay

Torn between two lovers

Feelin’ like a fool
Lovin’ both of you is breakin’ all the rules

Here are the original lyrics to the song, green for what a man would hear if a woman were to really say these words, and red for what he wouldn’t hear. LOL.

There are times when a woman has to say what’s on her mind
Even though she knows how much it’s gonna hurt
Before I say another word let me tell you, I love you
Let me hold you close and say these words as gently as I can

There’s been another man that I’ve needed and I’ve loved
But that doesn’t mean I love you less
And he knows he can’t possess me and he knows he never will
There’s just this empty place inside of me that only he can fill

Torn between two lovers, feelin’ like a fool
Lovin’ both of you is breakin’ all the rules
Torn between two lovers, feelin’ like a fool
Lovin’ you both is breakin’ all the rules

You mustn’t think you’ve failed me
Just because there’s someone else
You were the first real love I ever had
And all the things I ever said
I swear they still are true
For no one else can have the part of me I gave to you

I couldn’t really blame you if you turned and walked away
But with everything I feel inside, I’m asking you to stay

Torn between two lovers

Feelin’ like a fool
Lovin’ both of you is breakin’ all the rules

Credits:
“Torn Between Two Lovers” - Mary MacGregor (1976) / (Peter Yarrow and Phil Jarrel)

Having experienced a more or less similar situation in my teens, this song reminded me of what women should NEVER say when they have feelings for someone else!!!

Even if he asks “is there someone else?” and there is, just deny it.  ALWAYS DENY IT.  Even if he’s got pictures of you and your other guy, DENY IT.  LOL.

I honestly don’t like to talk about personal stuff on my blog so I’ll just try to rant as oppose to report in details…or whatever. I honestly don’t know if my ex actually knows about my blog. I have my link on my gmail signature and many times I forget to delete it before I send a selected few an email. So that’s one way to find my blog.

So yeah, the guy sends me an email today…and signs of with the 3 dreaded lyrics plus the 4 bonus tracks (aka “and I always will”). Makes me sick to my stomach quite frankly, and really aggravates the heartburn or possible angina I’m suffering from.

The last time we spoke over the phone, we both tried to be civilized. I think he finally realized that there’s a side of me that’s quite decent…but to me, it was plain experimentation. I now know, that guys are so easily manipulated by the tone of a girl’s voice. Doesn’t quite matter what she says, if it sounds good then it must be good. So I kept my tone low and soft and the usual tactic of ‘listen, agree, listen, agree, talk briefly, listen, agree’ (because guys are T-A-L-K-A-T-I-V-E) and my experiment was a success. He sent me an email a few hours later…

I don’t think a guy knows the difference between a girl who’s interested in being his friend, and a girl who is interested, interested. My ex would be one of those guys. When a girl who thinks she’s way too good for you (and almost everyone agreed) gives you a chance, don’t blow it. That’s pretty much what I feel for him at this point. It’s not even a story I care to remember.

I’m guessing he sent me an email because he found out about my brother’s recent matrimonial vows. That’s actually quite a turn of events really. I’m pretty sure that when Mr.X and I moved on to our 3rd year despite the arguments, everyone assumed we’d end up together. Thank God for China. Although I thought 5 years of being away from home was enough for X to find someone to marry.

He needs to sort himself out. The dude is racist against his own skin tone. He feels the darker the skin, the uglier the person. Who the heck wants to marry someone with that particular mindset?

Anyway, I’m feeling stuck with his email. He just asked me: “is it over, did you end it?” and I have this compulsion to reply with a sarcastic “well d-uh, it ended ages ago REMEMBER?” but I’ll contain myself. The best thing to do at this point is to simply ignore the email, just not respond to it. Like I said earlier, guys are killer-easy to manipulate. If I’m cornered I can always put on a soft but firm tone of voice, deny receiving the email, look to the left with searching eyes and pretend I’m trying to remember…then say a quick “I don’t really know I don’t really check my emails” and ask him a question about himself like “…but hey you look good, been working out/working hard?” and that pretty much solves the email-inquisition problem.

I’m off to watch The Apprentice UK. Have a pleasant day/evening.

Current Mood: Flirtatious & Flirtatious

Ok, so it’s not secret that my elder brother (probably the most popular member of my immediate family) is getting married…in about 2 weeks! He’ll be starting a family of his own and I’m sure my mum’s having mixed feelings about all this. I on the other hand and happy for him and that’s pretty much it. The beauty of siblings is that you are siblings forever. But the relationship between a mother and her child is a little different. Your child grows up and although they’ll always be their mother’s “baby”, many times they become a whole lot more responsible than their parents and the dependency eventually shifts over to the parents.

That said, I’ll be in China for the civil wedding…so I have no choice but to miss this special day. All of a sudden the spotlight has moved over from my elder sister to my elder brother…within a period of several months!

It was my elder sister who told me the date of the wedding, last night (early hours of this morning actually) on MSN Messenger.

Weird enough they believe in a pattern and think that one year from now, I’ll be getting married. I really have been away from home for too long; my own family don’t know me anymore. Even weirder was when my elder sister asked me how come I haven’t found a potential husband in all of China. I was left abashed.

It’s funny actually…that was probably what I thought before I came to Shanghai. I thought it would probably really easy to find the perfect guy especially because there are more pure breeds here (and pure breeds are more predictable, thus easier to understand). Is Shanghai the perfect place though, to find the perfect guy? I think it is. After all, treasures chests always ends up in the jungle.

But now, let’s consider my lifestyle and beliefs: I actually like Seychellois guys. My first guy ever was a Seychellois and I’d have to say I’m still single today because he really raised the bar on a whole lot of things. That said, I’m also a student here in Shanghai and I’m forced to go back and “serve” my country. Doesn’t that say enough already? I can’t take anyone here seriously unless they’re willing to move to the Seychelles for a few years after I’m done with China. See, isn’t this whole being single thing more complicated than seems? I don’t want to have to end a serious relationship only because I have to leave China.

One thing that’s FAB here in Shanghai is a single person’s life. Shanghai is “Transition City” for most of us here. It’s the place where you build yourself up before you settle down. You also need to taste every flavour of ice cream before you finally decide on your favourite.

I don’t understand why there’s such a huge pressure where marriage and kids are concerned. If you’re just married, no doubt you’re thinking it’s the best ever. But a few days ago {Twin Sister} actually told me that most of her married friends (most are Europeans) actually regret marrying too early.

So people should just cut me some slack. It is sad being single sometimes…but I was MISERABLE in my long-term relationship. It was such a hassle of having to tell {Ex-BF} my whereabouts, I had to force myself to feel guilty if a hot guy was talking to me, there were so many arguments, lies, brutal honesty, disagreements (in all aspects of the word), I had to be extremely nice to his family (without know if they actually liked me or had to force themselves to), and just when I felt I couldn’t go on with the guy and dumped him, I realized I couldn’t live without him. To make matters worse, I had a hard time forcing a killer-strong bond to detach. When something so solid and strong dissolve right in front of you, it becomes so believable that anything not quite as solid and strong will eventually dissolve as well.

At this age, I don’t want to have to settle for a compromise.

Married people with kids will teach their kids to embrace their childhood. They will tell their kids not to grow up too fast. Forcing me to get married is like taking educational toys away from a child. Why would you do such a thing?

Finally, I’m still a student. I don’t earn a stable income, I don’t have my own house, and I actually have to budget to go for budget holidays. Marriage = kids, so for crying out loud if you’re in my situation, respect your future kids and get married when you should, and not when you want to.

Current Mood: Alarmed

Little lovebirds…

Current Mood: Cool

I’m feeling generous so I’m giving out free love…free love WORDS. LOL. Png format graphics so you can have them on any colour background…except red of course. Download: right-click + ’save as…’ or ’save image as…’

Current Mood: Cool

…that the simplest and genuinely most humble people are the most difficult to find.

…that instead of choosing to be with all 1 million and one people who can’t hurt us, we choose to be with the only one who can.

©Rawpinions.com

Current Mood: Confused

David: I thought we were invincible. But now I know that the things that people in love do to each other, they remember. And if they stay together, it’s not because they forget. It’s because they forgive.

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I don’t know…this quote confuses me.� That’s the thing about movie quotes - they say it so well that it almost sounds factual.� I don’t know…I’ll have to think about this one.

Current Mood: Bored

I just watched the last episode of ABC’s The Bachelor Season 11. Late last night/early this morning I watched the part where Brad ditched Jenni…and then he ditched DeAnna.

I’m really glad that he had planned to pick DeAnna (even if he couldn’t get himself to propose in the end). I watched every episode of season 11 and did think: this guy is just too good to be true - and I’m really glad I was right!

It makes a lot of sense to think he was being selfless when he let both girls go, especially because he developed feelings for them. Think of it this way, if he was thinking of the other whenever he was with one of them, that feeling might have not gone away even after the engagement. If he had broken off the engagement then, it would have been a whole lot more painful for the girl he was engaged to.

So did he make the right choice choosing neither? Absolutely.

But are we right for being pissed off at him? Of course. Anyone can see that he did lead them on. A compliment would be something like “you look great tonight” and “you’ve got a lovely smile.” A compliment is NOT: “you’ve got everything I’m looking for in a woman” and “you’re too good to be true” - that would be leading a girl on, and that’s what playas say to get women to fall in love with them.

I remember saying on a previous entry that marriage to a woman is a lot like sex to a man (if I were to generalize). To a guy, a compliment would be if a woman were to say something like: “you’re so funny, you’ve got the best sense of humour ever” or “I think the woman you eventually marry would be the luckiest woman on earth”. It would make any guy feel good about himself. If the woman saying that ends the conversation abruptly and says “well I gotta go feed my dog” a guy would just wave goodbye and think about how right she is about his sense of humour and how good of a man he is.

Leading a guy on would be this: if he was really horny and had a hard on hanging out with his hot ****able chick with the perfect body. Then the chick says “ooh baby I’m feeling so hot right now I just want to suck your perfect | ADVERTISEMENT | until you | ADVERTISEMENT | all over my |ADVERTISEMENT|” and as he unzips his pants she’s like “oh wait…darnit…I just remember, I have to go home and feed my puppy…see ya” *zooms off*

That’s pretty much what a guy does to a girl when he thinks he’s complimenting her, when actually, he’s painting their happy-family portrait and he doesn’t even know it; that’s pretty much what Brad did.

He told Jenni that something was missing…when did he realise this? If something was missing, he should have told her ages ago: “you make me smile, you make me laugh…but that’s pretty much it really!”

He told DeAnna that she’s got everything he’s been looking for - but he just didn’t feel the ‘butterflies’. Why didn’t he just tell her ages ago: “you’re the perfect woman…but I’m just an insatiable guy”?

On the first episode when Jade walked up to him and asked “so…do you believe in love at first sight” and he replied “well now I do…” I guessed he was the charmer type - and I went: “pfft!”

He’s transformed into the guy every woman (and gay man) would kill to have, to that heartbreaker-man who everyone spends their lifetime trying to avoid.

Wots-his-name needs to read “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” by Dr. John Gray.

Current Mood: Flirtatious

A few minutes ago I was reading opinions of The Bachelor’s fans (season 11). It’s now basically between DeAnna and Jenny. Some people consider’s DeAnna to be wife material, and others think she’s too “bitchy” to be considered Brad’s wife - or to be compared with sweet Jenny.

In my opinion, DeAnna seems a whole lot more mature and emotionally independent - qualities every woman should have. Besides, I hate ’sweet & all-smiley’ women.

This reminds me of the time I was hanging out with one of my ‘bachelor’ friends. He’s in his 30s and doesn’t seem to know the secret women conceal. Well, allow me to reveal it in this post.

Think about all the wonderful women in your life: your mother, aunts, sisters, and childhood friends. If you know them well, you’ll know that each and every one of them have both good and bad sides; sometimes their all nice and sweet, other times they’re absolute evils.

Now push that aside for a while and consider this: when you really want something - you’ll do anything in your power to get it: “desperate times call for desperate measures.” For many guys (allow me to generalize), if a really hot girl you want to have sex with will only agree to do so if you tell her you love her, that’s probably what you’ll do: tell her you love her. It’s a guy’s game.

In many cases, women play games too but with different objectives. Sex to most guys is like marriage to most women; women are willing to go really far to get what they want. How is it that the closest women in your life can be such bitches at times, but most of the girls you just met are all nice and sweet? Why do most guys fall prey to such pretentiousness I wonder? I find it hard to believe guys are so easily manipulated and mislead.

When DeAnna said, “women can be bitches. They’ll stab you in the back in a second.” I couldn’t have agreed with her more. Most women in life will ditch their life-long friends for a guy they just met (I only know 1-2 women in my life who might not).

That said, everyone should know this: everyone’s got both good and bad sides to them. If a person is all nice and sweet, they’re only showing you that side of them. If a person is all bitchy and rude, they’re only showing you that side of them. Surely it’s logical to believe that every woman’s a bitch & angel conveniently rolled into one heck of a package? The rest is up to you to figure out.

You know what they say…ultimately, most marriages end in divorce or separation because a woman enters marriage thinking the guy will eventually change and he never does; while a guy enters marriage thinking the woman will never change and she does.